Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just pee around me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
