using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
