A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
