That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
