I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He passed out mid-signature
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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