You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
