Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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