There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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