It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
