We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
