the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize