I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
