I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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