She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
