I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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