he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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