I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize