I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
