The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
