At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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