I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize