i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
