just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
as a side note pls kill me
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