I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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