I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
