Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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