What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize