38 yer olds are good kisserssss
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
