no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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