he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
