thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
