apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
