I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
