put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
