aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
