I hate your face
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I will pee on everything he values.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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