I could have mohawked her pubes.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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