so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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