All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
