Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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