This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
