Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize