walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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