Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
