R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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