I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
