That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
