Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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