she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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