did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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