i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
