I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
