idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have aggressive nipples.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize