1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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