maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
