Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
