And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
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