Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
barbara walters just said penis...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
