i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
