My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
