Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
