he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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