We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
