$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
