you would pick up someone in the library
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Randomize
