Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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