OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
