he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
