The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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