On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
