No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
