Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've blown a few things in my day
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
